My Story

I cut my teeth on the pews of an Apostolic Pentecostal church, affiliated with the UPC and UPCI.

I am still working through CPTSD. Diagnosed this year after finally seeking help. I had a traumatic childhood that can follow from exposure to charismatic churches.

Especially with the purity culture and assault by older men, including my biological father, from between the ages of 5 and 25. Fast forward to my late teens and early twenties when I decided to actually study the whole Bible. Lost clarity, gained more questions. I was shut down and shamed by members of the church, and finally publicly by the pastor for ceasing paying tithes.

It was unbiblical, because the levites don't exist today. A pastor is not a keeper of the tabernacle or temple.

I was a singer on the platform, and he declared I should be paying them. Next to our microphones. On the platform. With people around me and a full house, to boot.

Finally told him that I needed to step down from singing and teaching sunday school classes because I didn't have the right spirit. He preached that we shouldn't hold positions in the church while having the wrong spirit, which translates to contrary belief to what is taught in that church. He told me I should pray about it and continue singing because people enjoyed hearing me and new members liked my singing.

I was an attraction, a recruiter, like the coffee shop in the lobby. I walked out of the church after that service and never set foot back in as a member. I went twice for easters for the sake of my grandma who requested, and never set foot in since. Still debunking and studying so the Bible can't be used to fool, oppress, or abuse anyone anymore.